FEMA, Welcome to Edna

When I first saw the news, I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. The Federal Government – who it seems everyone hates to some degree or another and should have a limited role, if any, in people’s daily lives and should be put out of its misery – had, once again, been asked to bail out Joe America. Only this time, the request was before rather than after the goddam fact.

This happened in Edna, Texas, where a new 2.5 million high school gym will double as a fallout shelter, of sorts, protecting the sick, elderly, special needs folks, first responders and local leaders, and all other government-hating Americans who feel compelled to wallow in the secure environs created by a government handout they so often rail against in the event of a Hurricane Sandy-like attack by mother nature. This being Texas, there's probably a whole lot more irony than would be in most states, given that most of these citizens probably voted for Mitt Romney – the guy who wanted to abolish FEMA amid cries that the government is basically good for nothing.

And it's not new gyms that are being built by the Feds, but community centers, wellness centers and physical rehab facilities – all to the tune of $34.5 million in Texas and $683 million nationwide.

That's FEMA at its finest, folks, which is all good and fine, and proof that there is a role for government in people's lives. Except that this goes beyond irony into the realm of hypocrisy – a place well-known to the typical tea-party-loving, government-hating majority on the right. And by the way, FEMA is paying for only 75% of the dome structures, which begs the question: Where does a town of 5,500 (Edna) come up with $625,000 on its own?

Truth be told, it probably doesn't, but instead relies on state money to cover the balance. Obviously, it seems that when it comes down to it, there's probably no government assistance that anyone in need – on the left OR the right – will turn down.

But fear not – these hypocritical assholes aren't just found in Texas – they abound from sea to sea, forgetting that the government instituted, created and have managed the transcontinental railroad system, the interstate highway system, our military, the VA, Congress' health care system, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, the postal service, the library system, the EPA, the Department of Education, the parks department and more. And for all the ills of any or all of these services, they have, for the most part, served the citizenry pretty well. It doesn't take your classic bleeding heart liberal to agree that giving women and minorities the simple right to vote – to be counted – was the right thing to do.

Of course, when it comes to services, they have been, throughout the years, cries of privatization for Social Security and other such services. "Hell, let an American company run things – then they'll be done right!"

Yeah … an American company … like fucking Lehman Brothers.

So much for the big, bad government.