So Much For Cruz Control

Just when we thought we were safely locked into Cruz Control, that greasy little weasel, that spurious tick Ted Cruz has raised his ugly head again. And now this past November – just two months ago – seems like two decades ago. November 2013. Just one year removed from the re-election and re-affirmation of an incumbent president by the majority of the people, as it were – two weeks after the conclusion of a screw up that shut down the government, and in doing so, seemed to shut down (hopefully for good?) the guy who engineered that shut down – Ted Cruz.

Sadly, it's not to be; Ted "The Creep" Cruz is back, mouthing off about this week's State of the Union address, making himself look and sound like an even bigger asshole (if that's possible) and putting at risk more moderate Republican who, if are not guilty by association, are guilty by negligence.

This guy ain't LBJ; can't anyone in the GOP shut him up and shut him down?

Has there ever been a politician more hated by his own party?

In the latest Cruz-credited piece in the Wall Street Journal (the placement of such no doubt funded by the Koch brothers), Cruz deems the Obama administration as an Imperial Presidency. But Cruz more than anyone has touted the idea of an Imperial Government, with all three branches being dominated and operated as extensions of the Tea Party – the sort of single-thought governing process that Karl Rove has been praying to his tattered photo of Lee Atwater for all these years. Then they REALLY wouldn't have to worry about actually delivering solutions, much less ideas, on Healthcare or Immigration.

Yes, Cruz complains about an imperial presidency, but the fact is that Obama has done nothing outside the law. If Cruz wants to scrap the Affordable Care Act, he should follow his own advice of staying within the law by following the proper legislative steps. And if he thinks Obama leads the pack in executive orders, he'd better think again – Obama isn't even close to Reagan, while also trailing Clinton and Bush the Junior.

For the likes of Cruz who have been so worried about Obama's impending dictatorship (five years in the making and counting!), I often wonder what they thought of Dick Cheney's Fourth Reich?

Mr. Phil Goes National

Poor Phil Robertson – how dare that guy from the fancy New York magazine sneak up on him! 'Course, the immediate and obvious question on everyone's mind was "what the hell was a profile on this stooge doing in GQ in the first place?" (Other than to sneak up on him for the purpose of giving further credence to the idea that nice, good 'ole folks like the Duck Dynasty bunch strewn throughout this big country of ours aren't really that nice or that good.)

That said, rarely have I been more at a loss for words on something I thought I had a pretty decent grip on than the Duck Dynasty phenomenon. Hell, everyone knows we're a nation of morons. (When Phil says he didn't think that this country had a history of mistreating blacks, I believe him.) So when close to 10 million hicks tune in every week to watch a TV show about a family of hicks, I understand. (Even if it's all fake. What was that 'ole Phil said about the "skits that we come up with?" So much for "reality.") Anyhow, what I DON'T understand is the repeat viewer. Nothing – I mean NOTHING – happens on this fucking show. Even for the mindless market Duck Dynasty caters to, it's got to be boring as hell.

Maybe it's the idea of the success story that has the populace coming back for more. This show is proof that everyone knows at least a little about something and that anyone can have an idea – in this case, it's the humble duck call.

Another school of thought has folks watching because of the Christian leanings of the show. And that makes sense, given that the Robertson bunch is comprised of your typical hypocrites who like to force-feed non-believers their very specific brand of Christianity. Leaning on the bible as an everlasting crutch may work with the religious folks … Hey, it's okay to beat the shit out of a guy and his wife, as long as you declare yourself born again – and are able to pay the guy off. However, in the real world – in our nation of laws – conversion is not an excuse.

That said, they're not BAD people – just your typical hypocritical, far-right, gun-worshiping, gay-bashing, black-hating, women-abusing tea-baggin' birther nutballs.

Florida's Folly

The sad tale of George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin has come to what most likely will amount to only a temporary conclusion. Blacks and most white liberals are pissed off – and why shouldn't they be? An unarmed 17-year-old black kid was shot dead. Murdered? That depends on how one defines "murder." If murder constitutes the extermination of one human with a gun by another human without one, the circumstances be damned, then, yes – this is murder. However, if murder is defined as a "crime of unlawfully killing a person especially with malice aforethought," (Webster), then we may have an issue.

Did Zimmerman set out to kill as he stepped out of a vehicle in which the police instructed him to remain? That's a stretch, even given that community's recent history of being haunted by trouble-making black male teenagers. Did Zimmerman go looking for trouble? Maybe. Probably. At the very least, Zimmerman is guilty of disobeying the law. But the fact is that, the local law enforcement's protestations notwithstanding, George Zimmerman was simply performing a duty he'd been empowered to perform by the state of Florida.

What can you expect in a state with both a Stand Your Ground law and Conceal and Carry law solidly in place? What can you expect in a country in which 49 of 50 states boast of a Conceal and Carry law? (With Illinois right around the bend.) What can you expect in a nation that empowers its citizens to play cop, judge and jury by putting a gun in their hands?

And let's be clear about this: These accusations that George Zimmerman took the law into his own hands is bullshit. It's the country – the U.S. Congress, our state congresses, our laws, our people, you and me – who put the law into George Zimmerman's hands, and puts the law into EVERYONE'S hands every day by creating and permitting this vigilante state we find ourselves in.

There are thousands of "neighborhood watch leaders" like George Zimmerman roaming the gated communities of these United States, and many of them are probably more ready and more willing to fire away than was Zimmerman. But neighborhood watch leaders are the least of it. Somewhere around 10 million U.S. citizens hold a Conceal and Carry license, which absolutely empowers them to take the law into their own hands, with far less training, but much more lethal weaponry than actual officers of the law. Which, as always, begs the question: Why are we wasting money on the real police?

The bottom line is that George Zimmerman got the jury he needed to escape – this time. Was the verdict right by Trayvon Martin? Probably not. But we'll never really know for sure, legally speaking. Because only two people know – or knew – what happened that night and one of them is dead. Which lends doubt. And in a land of laws, where there's doubt, there's innocence.

Legally speaking.

FEMA, Welcome to Edna

When I first saw the news, I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. The Federal Government – who it seems everyone hates to some degree or another and should have a limited role, if any, in people’s daily lives and should be put out of its misery – had, once again, been asked to bail out Joe America. Only this time, the request was before rather than after the goddam fact.

This happened in Edna, Texas, where a new 2.5 million high school gym will double as a fallout shelter, of sorts, protecting the sick, elderly, special needs folks, first responders and local leaders, and all other government-hating Americans who feel compelled to wallow in the secure environs created by a government handout they so often rail against in the event of a Hurricane Sandy-like attack by mother nature. This being Texas, there's probably a whole lot more irony than would be in most states, given that most of these citizens probably voted for Mitt Romney – the guy who wanted to abolish FEMA amid cries that the government is basically good for nothing.

And it's not new gyms that are being built by the Feds, but community centers, wellness centers and physical rehab facilities – all to the tune of $34.5 million in Texas and $683 million nationwide.

That's FEMA at its finest, folks, which is all good and fine, and proof that there is a role for government in people's lives. Except that this goes beyond irony into the realm of hypocrisy – a place well-known to the typical tea-party-loving, government-hating majority on the right. And by the way, FEMA is paying for only 75% of the dome structures, which begs the question: Where does a town of 5,500 (Edna) come up with $625,000 on its own?

Truth be told, it probably doesn't, but instead relies on state money to cover the balance. Obviously, it seems that when it comes down to it, there's probably no government assistance that anyone in need – on the left OR the right – will turn down.

But fear not – these hypocritical assholes aren't just found in Texas – they abound from sea to sea, forgetting that the government instituted, created and have managed the transcontinental railroad system, the interstate highway system, our military, the VA, Congress' health care system, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, the postal service, the library system, the EPA, the Department of Education, the parks department and more. And for all the ills of any or all of these services, they have, for the most part, served the citizenry pretty well. It doesn't take your classic bleeding heart liberal to agree that giving women and minorities the simple right to vote – to be counted – was the right thing to do.

Of course, when it comes to services, they have been, throughout the years, cries of privatization for Social Security and other such services. "Hell, let an American company run things – then they'll be done right!"

Yeah … an American company … like fucking Lehman Brothers.

So much for the big, bad government.