A Tale of Two Teds

 

That two-faced, slick little stinker Ted Cruz is at it again … wanting, as most politicians do, to have it both ways, which he could probably pull off if he wasn't so hell-bent on keeping his face in the news by blabbering about whatever pops into his puny mind about Obama. Now he's whining that Net Neutrality is "Obamacare for the Internet" (whatever the that means) and that it's a bad idea, but doesn't explain WHY it's a bad idea. No wonder, given his statement, which clearly demonstrates that Cruz doesn't really understand the concept of Net Neutrality in the first place. So … let me explain it in a way that even Ted Cruz can understand.

Without Net Neutrality, Internet Services Providers - or ISPs - could develop "fast lanes" to those content providers who are willing to pay more, which would considerably slow down overall Internet activity (streaming, as it were) for the rest of us. Net Neutrality ensures that all websites must play on a level playing field, subsequently ensuring that ALL of their customers are treated equally.

Call it Equal Data Under Law.

And why is Cruz, who claims – as a Tea Bagger – to stand up for the common man, against Net Neutrality? (Aside from his professed hatred for Everything Obama.) Well, if Cruz DOESN'T come out against Net Neutrality, the likes of Comcast and other ISPs who give him lots of money to have their way in Washington would be mighty upset.

Now the fact that Cruz isn't the only taker of ISP donations isn't lost on me. But Cruz is the one mouthing off about it and Cruz is the one who claims to be the best representative for the average guy and Cruz is the stinker who, as always, just can't shake the stink of hypocrisy.

Without Net Neutrality, those Christmas shows (on ISP-provided TV) that are already underway, would be at risk and online shopping would be much more cumbersome in the homes of all those Tea Bagging nuts who mistakenly think that Ted Cruz has their best interests at heart.

So what will they hear from Ted Cruz? Feliz Navidad or Chinga Tu?

Megyn Kelly Speaks. Big Mistake.

Whenever Megyn Kelly speaks, it's always fun to imagine what might come out. Monday night was no exception, when she dropped the F-bomb in introducing Mike Huckabee – a shock to all the Fox News viewers, no doubt. It's hard to believe that such a word – such language! – could exist, even subconsciously, in the recesses of a prim and proper little mind like that of a pious little priss like Megyn Kelly.

Reagan Revisited

In the wake of the Senate victory this week, Washington Post columnist Michael Gerson points out that the usual suspects are, once again, claiming the Reagan legacy. Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Marco Rubio (courtesy of Lindsey Graham); the usual assholes. Gerson then proceeds to cite an essay by a couple of conservative screwballs (whose names aren't important) for the purpose of pointing out that the Reagan of old may not be the Reagan that the current crop of young Republicans think they remember. That Reagan was the original maverick (dare they say, the original Tea Bagger); that Reagan wasn't necessarily about freedom, but instead "human dignity;" and that Reagan had a sympathetic side to him that included a role for government to help those who might need to "depend on their fellow man." (Ha! This from the guy who claimed that "government was the problem.")

Anyhow, Gerson reminds us that Libertarians at the time felt that Reagan's soft side was too soft. But in truth, Reagan's soft side extended only to a select few; a fact made clear by his policies.

He fought to cut spending programs for the needy.

He reduced insurance for workers who had lost jobs to foreign competition he refused to stand up to. 

He reduced student aid and food stamps.

He reduced Social Security benefits and the budget for the Civil Rights Commission.

He claimed that homeless people might well be “homeless by choice.”

In other words, he had no use for those who weren't just like him, leaving the poor, the needy, the working man, minorities or any marginalized group to fend for themselves. And Reagan absolutely despised gays.

Ten years after his death, his legacy of hatred lives on, and if he didn't end up as the most vicious, uncaring president in U.S. history, he was goddam close.

Meanwhile, we have the new band of Republicans to contend with, not to mention those right-wing journalists who might coach them. And under further review, these journalists probably have it wrong.

The likes of Cruz, Paul and Mike Lee have succeeded in emulating their patron saint Reagan to a fault, though no man or woman – not even these righteous, nasty, self-absorbed little buggers – will ever approach the level of treachery and neglect set by Ronald Reagan.

Doris Landfather - The Hypocrite

If you think that the concept of imposing one's own idea of ethics on others began with the rise of the far-right religious nuts in the '80s, or even with the emergence of that local screwball Phyllis Schlafly – who came out of the kitchen in the '70s, yet thought it was her business to make sure that every woman in America stay in hers – think again. With the recent death of Doris Landfather, we're reminded that hypocrisy from the right made an interesting appearance in the early '70s.

During her one-term stint as a St. Louis alderman, Landfather's greatest claim to fame was to try to ban the rock musical "Hair" from opening in St. Louis. She failed. But that's not the story. The story is that this elected official from a party that has always championed less government, less regulation and less intrusion into peoples' lives, thought she had a right to tell society how to behave. Doris Landfather thought that government should mind their own business. Yet, she couldn't mind hers.

She dropped out of high school at age 15 to marry one of her teachers, who she eventually divorced. Hardly the behavior of a self-proclaimed moral maven.

She had a later-in-life stint of trying to get her son off of a drug dealing conviction; not exactly in line with the law-and-order preaching from the right to which we've all become accustomed.

In trying to legally regulate personal behavior and personal decisions, Doris Landfather, thought she was ahead of time, but in truth, she was behind it. But that didn't stop her from pushing her own twisted sense of morality onto others.

What a pious, reprehensible hypocrite.

The Supreme Court Comes Out of The Closet

So the Supreme Court decided against a gay marriage hearing. What the hell made them throw in the towel on this one? Maybe it was the stark realization that it might not be so bad to be on the right side of history. Or that as arbiters of a nation that is supposed to be governed by laws rather than "moral," "ethical" or religious proclivities, they had better start acting accordingly. The real question is, what the hell took you so long?

Ted Nugent! He Speaks!

Poor Ted Nugent. Poor dumb, little Ted Nugent. He has spoken again. The question is, "why?"

Like most uneducated sots, he just can't keep his mouth shut. And of course, when such a mouth opens, what comes out of it usually sounds pretty dumb.

As he has since day one, poor dumb, little Ted has used the shooting incident in Ferguson, Missouri, as an excuse to bash liberalism, in general. Like his apparent hero, Newt Gingrich, poor dumb, little Ted likes to inject his diatribes with buzz words, like "plague" and "thugs." Remember Gingrich and his affection for the hot, provocative descriptors … "sick," "pathetic" and "despicable" were a few of his favorites. This, from a guy who waved "howdy" to his kids as he was getting his dick sucked by one of his mistresses in a car outside of a political event during his term as a U.S. Representative, then proceeded to personally serve his wife divorce papers while she was in a hospital bed, sick with cancer. Has there really ever been a more despicable human being than Newt Gingrich?

But back to Ted – poor dumb, little Ted, whose sweeping assumptions simply aren't accurate, proving that Ted's not necessarily a racist; he's just a victim of the true plague that haunts our nation: Stupidity.

Personally, I've always gotten a bang out of poor dumb, little Ted; his music; his rants; his whole personae he created for himself. But there's a big difference in thinking you know enough to mouth off about politics and to mouth off about how many groupies you've fucked in any given week. And even in these oh-so-serious times, he just can't quite rise up above Neanderthal status. Which, again, is okay in the world of rock and roll where you can fly through the air on a rope with a pretend cat's tail pinned to your ass and sing about eating pussy. But not so great in the real world and certainly not in the world of politics where image is everything and brains are, sometimes, not.

Throughout his career, Ted has found himself in the minority when it comes to rock stars and politics. Which is fine, until you consider his constant cries about letting him and his ilk live life anyway they want, and everyone else mind their own fucking business. This attitude, by the way, from the side of the political aisle which thinks it's THEIR business to tell others who to love, who to marry and who to fuck. As always, it's not the lies from the right that are so difficult to stomach; we're used to those. It's the hypocrisy. But poor dumb, little Ted takes that hypocrisy to a new low when he whines about Bill Clinton and his many known peccadillos. Ted Nugent – child molesting sex offender – mouthing off about somebody else's personal life. Amazing.

Maybe it's time for Ted to finally shut it up.

Panera Shoots Down the Gun Lobby

There seems to be quite an uproar over the announcement by the corporate office of Panera coffee shops to disavow the gun culture, as it were, across the country. Panera is now among an ever-growing number of businesses who have asked – not demand, mind you; they can't do that – their customers to NOT bring guns into their businesses. So if Congress learned nothing from Sandy Hook and the outcry that followed, maybe corporate America did. Of course, there are still some dumbasses who still don't get it and we have one right here in suburban St. Louis; a real piece of work named Dan Zimmerman who operates a website – to the tune of nice profit, no doubt – called TheTruthAboutGuns.com. Zimmerman felt that Sandy Hook "was pretty much like every other mass shooting — it happened in a gun-free zone. I think it would’ve been different if he’d been in a place where someone else was armed,” he says. “I don’t know how you could argue otherwise."

Fortunately, Neanderthals like Zimmerman make up a very small minority as more and more businesses like Panera are making decisions like this based on what the majority of Americans REALLY think – not what the NRA tries to make it appear that Americans think – about guns. Announcing that, for moral, ethical, religious or some other reason, they don't won't guns on the property of the business. And the gun crowd, not unexpectedly, is pissed.
 

By God, it says right there in the 2nd Amendment – a law! – that they should be able to take their guns anywhere they please. And after all, we are a nation of laws! And the right to carry is THE LAW.

Right. Just like the Affordable Care Act (otherwise, lovingly known as Obamacare) is the law; and nobody can challenge it, by God! Certainly not on the grounds of any moral, ethical or religious grounds.

So I wonder what the gun nuts think of the Hobby Lobby decision now. I can only assume that the bunch who find themselves in a tizzy about the Panera announcement found the decision by the Supreme Court in favor of Hobby Lobby just as reprehensible.

Right?

As always, with the right wing, the hypocrisy is astonishing.

Even more astonishing, perhaps, are the extremes they'll go to in order to continue to portray loyalty to their cult. We're reminded of this as the country sits and waits for the ruling on an incident this past August in which a shooting instructor was accidently shot to death by a 9-year-old student. Sadness abounded, but not one word of regret or surprise from the right that a 9-year-old – a fucking 9-year-old! – was given a shooting lesson.

Mark my words: This mishap will be ruled an accident. And it will be met without a word from anyone in the gun crowd, including the family of the victim.

Thanks to the NRA, America's culture is a gun culture, resulting in what has become a gun war in this country. And as with any war, there is collateral damage that is accepted by those members of the NRA – a crazed cult with no more than 5 million members in a nation of 300+ million, but with as much power as the government; a crazed cult with zero respect to the concept of a civilized society; a crazed cult with members who stand loyally together – even in the wake of death.

 

 

Jay Nixon Goes Down in Flames

Poor Jay Nixon.

He's flown under the radar for six years as the governor of Missouri and for 20-plus years before that as a state politician. But he's under the radar no more, thanks to Ferguson. The national spotlight hit Nixon hard these past few days, casting any aspirations Nixon had of national office (VP under Hillary?) out the window. And aspirations he's had aplenty as shown by his numerous trips to Iowa these past few years. If the initial press conference on Ferguson didn't do it, the rowdy shindig today sure did. There was poor Jay, running his own fucking press conference for Christ's sake, instead of some toady taking the heat. And it wasn't really a press conference, but more of a balls-to-the-wall town hall free for all, with a whole bunch of pissed off Ferguson residents – mostly black – nailing him at every turn.

Big mistake.

Missouri Representative Lacy Clay, a long-time supporter of Nixon's, stood quietly in the background, while Nixon was forced to play the role of press secretary as well as governor; and when he DID play governor, he was hardly executive-like in behavior. In letting the crowd drag him down in the debate gutter with them, Nixon demonstrated a lack of presence, lack of thought and an attitude bordering on apathy that was not exactly endearing or comforting. After a term and a half of governor, the real Jay Nixon final appeared – a frightened half-wit who really doesn't give a damn about anyone in North St. Louis County – or the city of St. Louis, for that matter. That is, anyone who is black.

Zero brains, zero charisma, zero concern – not a good combination for someone who wants out of Jefferson City, Missouri.

The Stupidity Stops Here

The buzz over Chris Christie has begun anew with recent revelations about the infamous bridge shutdown (of almost a year ago now) showing the New Jersey Governor to be even more of a putz than we'd already suspected. Between now and the Republican Convention in Cleveland in two years, Chris Christie will reveal himself to the nation in new and terrible ways, eventually meeting the same fate Fred Thompson did in 2008, and in the same manner – during a debate, when Christie opens his mouth on serious matters and the nation learns how dumb he really is. Of course, to everything there is a season; and a theory of relativity. Next to Rick Perry, Big Boy Christie may not sound so dumb. Christie may end up thanking his lucky stars for Perry who, according to those in the know down in Austin, Texas, makes George W. Bush look like a Rhodes Scholar. Truth is, dumb is okay is you have a Dick Cheney on board (as W. did) to run the ship from behind the scenes. But Perry doesn't and won't. And neither will Chris Christie, whose bullying act won't be nearly as popular across the nation as it is in his home state.

Todd Akin - The Village Idiot

The train wreck known as Todd Akin tilted seriously downhill in June of 2011 when the U.S. Representative from Missouri stated that liberals hate God. Then, naturally, he apologized for that.  
Akin then proceeded, during his campaign to unseat U.S. Senator (Missouri) Claire McCaskill, to demonstrate – on TV – his ignorance of basic reproductive science. (And in doing so, demonstrated his absolute disregard for women, in general.) Then, naturally, he apologized for THAT.

But now, almost two years later, Akin has gone too far – he's rescinded that last apology.

Todd, Todd, Todd … you're not just stupid; you're an asshole, too.

 In taking back his apology, Akin compared himself to Joe McCarthy, which is just about right. He's up in arms about his "character assassination" like McCarthy, which has led to negligible creditability. And like McCarthy, it was well-deserved. (You see, it's still the media's job to call a spade a spade.) One difference is that McCarthy was an intended sensationalist whore; Akin is just a dumbass, proven, once again, by his own refusal to let his own faux pau die. Todd Akin just doesn't know how or when to walk away from his own fuck-ups. He even invoked Bill Clinton's name in a statement about sexual assault. Sexual assault? By what legal accusation? Even Monica has disavowed such nonsense. Akin's regret about apologizing for his infamous rape comments proves that he's every bit the phony so many always knew he was; his name itself has become a "political byword" (his words) like McCarthy, and like McCarthy, deservedly so. Finally, old school Republicans have realized it's time get rid of idiots like Akin and Ted Cruz and Mike Lee, at last admitting that they are NOT part of the mainstream – even the mainstream within the Republican party.

Lawless Ted

Once again, Ted Cruz is spouting out anything that comes to mind – whether or not it's true; whether or not it even makes sense. He calls Obama "lawless" in faulting Obama with the Central American children crisis. Anything that goes wrong is the president's fault in the eyes of the Republicans, but especially Cruz. In the case of this influx of immigrants, Obama is simply following a law put in place by none other than George W. Bush, which permits the entrance of unaccompanied minors from countries other than Canada or Mexico. The constant ignoring of the facts by Cruz is amazing.

Here's one such fact Cruz seems to have forgotten: In the case of these kids crossing into the U.S. from Mexico, the law permits a president to address the problem without having to wait for Congress to change Bush's law. In fact, Rep. Mike Rogers, R-Mich., has asked President Obama to do just that – to return the children to their respective native lands. (The irony of a Republican calling for Obama to perform an act of Executive Action amid cries from the same party about Obama's alleged overreaching is just too fucking rich for words.) Anyhow … once again, it's the hypocrisy from the right (not the lying, to which the nation has become accustomed) that is so astounding. And 'ole Ted Cruz is the lead offender. It's because of this that I've thought it would be interesting to break bread with Cruz if only to give him a chance to rationalize all of these off the cuff, out of left field statements he makes – these hot button, Gingrich-like streams of venom he likes to spew out. Of course, in his case, the proverbial bread would be a tortilla, right? Or maybe traditional Canadian back bacon.

Because let's remember: Ted Cruz is not a full-blooded American, having been sired by a Cuban and born in Canada; a problem if one wants to be President of the United States. (This, per Article II, Section 1, of the U.S. Constitution.) Yet, Cruz, in breach of the law, thinks he's qualified – technically qualified – to be president.

Lawless Ted marches on.

Hobby Lobby Rules!

After 238 years, almost to the goddam day, we've come full circle – back to the country we were before we were actually a country. Back to the time when a religious faction not only ruled the land but actually governed the people. That would be King George III – the same guy against whom we declared war on the premise of the separation of church and state. But with the Hobby Lobby ruling, after almost two and a half centuries, we've come full circle, back to a place in time where the wants and whims of a particular religious attitude trump the laws of the land. And make no mistake about it: The Affordable Care Act is the law. A law – like any law – that can only be altered through the proper legislative process. Ideally. But not, seemingly, any more. Not under the U.S. Constitution as we know it today, as it is interpreted by a majority of deranged Supreme Court justices for the purpose of appeasing the fanatical firestorm faith. 

Well, sorry, fruitcakes everywhere, but you don't get to adjust a law to suit your own particular peccadillos, even religious ones. That's because we're still supposed to be a land ruled by laws; not religious degrees; no matter if we're ruled by a multi-branch government or a parliament or a king.

Of course, what this is REALLY about is not Obamacare, but Obama. These people who call themselves Christians are filled with such hate for the current president, they're happy to violate the constitution just to make a point. Of course, the hypocrisy is obvious: They don't want to be told what to do, but think it's their place to tell the "rest of us" what to do. Jesus … they want to eliminate contraception, but they're too stupid to realize that such a move will only lead to MORE abortions – which are still legal.

Thanks, Monica

Within a few short weeks, Eric Cantor is gone and Monica Lewinsky is back. Fucking amazing.

With last night's primary news accounted for in full, the biggest shock is easily the disposal of Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor. Ah, yes, Mr. Cantor has come and gone, a victim of his own hubris, greed and insanity. His plan was to pump up the troops – these new troops – and lead them in an overthrow. The only problem was that not even Cantor was crazy enough for this new bunch and they ended up overthrowing the wrong guy; Eric Cantor himself, rather than the guy he'd originally set his sights on – President Barrack Obama.

So Eric Cantor is gone. And Monica Lewinsky is back; on the cover of the new Vanity Fair, inside of which, she is asking to be forgiven so that she might start over – 15 year later. Uh-huh. Just think what she gave us …

Because Monica actually thought she was going to be moving into the White House, poor Al Gore had the specter of herself and Bill and a fouled blue dress and a smelly cigar hanging over him. There could have been hope, but unfortunately, Gore himself didn't have the balls or guts to deal with it properly.

So thank you, Monica, for giving us George W. Bush. And Dick Cheney. And 9/11. And two unnecessary wars.

So Much For Cruz Control

Just when we thought we were safely locked into Cruz Control, that greasy little weasel, that spurious tick Ted Cruz has raised his ugly head again. And now this past November – just two months ago – seems like two decades ago. November 2013. Just one year removed from the re-election and re-affirmation of an incumbent president by the majority of the people, as it were – two weeks after the conclusion of a screw up that shut down the government, and in doing so, seemed to shut down (hopefully for good?) the guy who engineered that shut down – Ted Cruz.

Sadly, it's not to be; Ted "The Creep" Cruz is back, mouthing off about this week's State of the Union address, making himself look and sound like an even bigger asshole (if that's possible) and putting at risk more moderate Republican who, if are not guilty by association, are guilty by negligence.

This guy ain't LBJ; can't anyone in the GOP shut him up and shut him down?

Has there ever been a politician more hated by his own party?

In the latest Cruz-credited piece in the Wall Street Journal (the placement of such no doubt funded by the Koch brothers), Cruz deems the Obama administration as an Imperial Presidency. But Cruz more than anyone has touted the idea of an Imperial Government, with all three branches being dominated and operated as extensions of the Tea Party – the sort of single-thought governing process that Karl Rove has been praying to his tattered photo of Lee Atwater for all these years. Then they REALLY wouldn't have to worry about actually delivering solutions, much less ideas, on Healthcare or Immigration.

Yes, Cruz complains about an imperial presidency, but the fact is that Obama has done nothing outside the law. If Cruz wants to scrap the Affordable Care Act, he should follow his own advice of staying within the law by following the proper legislative steps. And if he thinks Obama leads the pack in executive orders, he'd better think again – Obama isn't even close to Reagan, while also trailing Clinton and Bush the Junior.

For the likes of Cruz who have been so worried about Obama's impending dictatorship (five years in the making and counting!), I often wonder what they thought of Dick Cheney's Fourth Reich?

Mr. Phil Goes National

Poor Phil Robertson – how dare that guy from the fancy New York magazine sneak up on him! 'Course, the immediate and obvious question on everyone's mind was "what the hell was a profile on this stooge doing in GQ in the first place?" (Other than to sneak up on him for the purpose of giving further credence to the idea that nice, good 'ole folks like the Duck Dynasty bunch strewn throughout this big country of ours aren't really that nice or that good.)

That said, rarely have I been more at a loss for words on something I thought I had a pretty decent grip on than the Duck Dynasty phenomenon. Hell, everyone knows we're a nation of morons. (When Phil says he didn't think that this country had a history of mistreating blacks, I believe him.) So when close to 10 million hicks tune in every week to watch a TV show about a family of hicks, I understand. (Even if it's all fake. What was that 'ole Phil said about the "skits that we come up with?" So much for "reality.") Anyhow, what I DON'T understand is the repeat viewer. Nothing – I mean NOTHING – happens on this fucking show. Even for the mindless market Duck Dynasty caters to, it's got to be boring as hell.

Maybe it's the idea of the success story that has the populace coming back for more. This show is proof that everyone knows at least a little about something and that anyone can have an idea – in this case, it's the humble duck call.

Another school of thought has folks watching because of the Christian leanings of the show. And that makes sense, given that the Robertson bunch is comprised of your typical hypocrites who like to force-feed non-believers their very specific brand of Christianity. Leaning on the bible as an everlasting crutch may work with the religious folks … Hey, it's okay to beat the shit out of a guy and his wife, as long as you declare yourself born again – and are able to pay the guy off. However, in the real world – in our nation of laws – conversion is not an excuse.

That said, they're not BAD people – just your typical hypocritical, far-right, gun-worshiping, gay-bashing, black-hating, women-abusing tea-baggin' birther nutballs.